is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
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