i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
Randomize
