just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
Randomize