i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Randomize
