I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
The beers last night were like the tears from god
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
Randomize
