i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
that is very illegal...i love you.
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