i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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