Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
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