So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
