Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Randomize
