I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
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