I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
Randomize
