the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
Randomize
