My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
i think i just naturally attract stoners
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