Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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