Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
