I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
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