I wish life had little blips of pornography
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
