You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
