If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
Randomize
