I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
Randomize
