at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
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