YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
Randomize