apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
Randomize
