airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
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