White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
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