Where are you?
In a non slutty way
dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Randomize
