got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
Randomize
