i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
Randomize
