They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
Randomize
