my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
Randomize
