Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize
