I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
