Only a mothe r could love this liver
I wish i was in the wii world.
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
Randomize