Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
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