I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
Randomize