can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
Randomize
