similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
Alive.
So much puke
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Randomize
