3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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