in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
Randomize
