no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
my shit smells like andre
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
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