I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
Randomize