They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
Randomize
