The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
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