Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
Randomize
