What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
it was like having sex with a tree stump
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
