She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
Randomize
