Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
Randomize
