I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
Randomize
