I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
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