How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
I cut my penus on the lid.
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
Randomize
