I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
You should frame my arrest warrant.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
Randomize
