but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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