Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize
