you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
Randomize
