she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize