Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize
