if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
I skipped work to stalk him.
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
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