the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
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