Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
