I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
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