just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
dude i'm inner monologue high
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
Randomize
