i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
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