girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
