I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
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