hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
it was like his penis was on wheels.
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
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