so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
Randomize