If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
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