It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
