brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
Randomize
