Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
You pole danced in your parka.
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize