I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
Randomize
