it wasn't lemon gatorade
I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
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