I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
Randomize