she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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