All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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